domingo, 14 de diciembre de 2008

Rough pt 1: airports

So, coming home has been a bit difficult.
To begin with, air-travel is always a strain ED-wise. Potential pitfalls include:
  • Complimentary snacks/meals on the airplane are foods I wouldn't usually consider eating unless I was planning to...
  • No complimentary snacks/food on the airplane (or passing them up in fear they would be triggers) so I end up famished in the airport. Finding something healthy but substantial to eat is usually torturous. Either I pay 15$ for a salad and feel guilty for the ridiculous expenditure or get 3 capuccinos in a row trying to stave of hunger and end up twitching with over-caffination. All the while, I'm trying to block out the wafting smells of Cinnabon and pizza.
  • There have even been times, when things disintegrated into a full out binge - once almost causing me to miss a connecting flight. I was so panicked as I sprinted out of the bathroom and onto the plane that I ended up in tears, confronted with the dangerous level of my compulsion.
Over the years, falling apart in an airport has become a minor phobia of mine. I remember when the articles on the life & death of Carol Gautbaum came out, I identified with her entirely.
Now I make sure to bring healthy snacks, and if I find myself unexpectedly hungry I buy yogurt or soup. On my long leg home (9 hours), refusing plane-food is totally impractical. It's simply too much for me to pack two FSA-safe picnic meals (no liquids or "gels"!) beforehand and make room for them in my carry on. So the key is being reasonable, flexible, eating slowly etc.

Even though I took good care of myself yesterday, I still arrived feeling completely nauseated since my last leg was a tiny, turbulent flight. The whole trip, from door to door, would have taken 25 hours if I had gone straight home from the airport. But I had a surprise in store: my entire family coming to pick me up. I felt sick and exhausted and really only wanted to shower and sleep. But I did my best to look enthused when they told me we were going to a fancy Italian restaurant for a late dinner. I'm sure they meant it to be a celebratory treat, but you can imagine it was pretty painful.

3 comentarios:

Tiptoe dijo...

Ramona, traveling and dealing with an ED can be hard. I know I've definitely had my share of airport moments.

It sounds like you are trying to keep yourself healthy and together despite the long flight and surprise in seeing your family.

I hope your visit goes well. Try to make the situation as best as possible.

By the way, I remember hearing about Carol Gautbaum. I thought it was very horrifying and such a sad case.

MelissaS dijo...

i can imagine it was pretty painful. ahh, family.

i travel a lot for business, and it's always difficult. food on flights, no food on flights. finding something healthy in the airport. long delays with nothing to do but dream about Cinnabon and pizza.

we're all doing the best we can, eh?

carolinita dijo...

Oh my God, I totally understand...Just yesterday I had the exact same experience..By now I hate airplanes and the whole food they give us...can's they just stop giving us food? I managed somehow to keep the chocolate and gave it to my little cousin when I arrived...But GOD, it was hard. Very hard...It took me my whole mental energy to focus on NOT EATING it....and afterwards I overate anyways....